TO RANT OR REJOICE?... theBoy Thosh

A whole month dedicated to my cup of tea, but I find myself just staring at the blank 2048x1024 px canvas, stirring a few unfiltered tea leaves round and round endlessly. What is there to say about technology? I’m happy that the canvas will auto-save any qwertylised art I paint on it. I’m angry I can’t throw random words and phrases at it, in hopes for an FTL (faster than light) production of an article for my beloved slave-driv... Editor!
Flexibility and Reach are no longer just fighting strategies or sexual advantages … they are the key concepts that technology has brought to us. The global spider web makes it easy for my words to be seen by virtually everyone. Google makes it easy for my words to be translated into any cat dialogue for all the cats posting their pictures n videos on Facebook and YouTube. In fact, technology has made it possible for cats to have their own little celebrity status by continuously giving new ways to go “aaaaaaw” and #dead.

The Egyptians must be glad that their once revered gods can finally compete with our modern social ones in music; #win and #fail pictures, humor and showing that they have too much time on their hands and too much battery life on their cameras. I wish I had the chance to speak to one of these famous cats that can sing or play the piano. I would even break words with the feline friends that where slices of bread on their necks.
If technology can help cats and humans alike, to reach millions across the world in different kinds of media, WHY THE HELL CAN’T IT BAN THESE JOBLESS IDIOTS FROM FLOODING THE NET WITH THIS GARBAGE? I mean, seriously, I know free-speech is a right, but technology is run by robots. Even their basic (by basic, I mean programming language, not minimum standard) reasoning should be able to tell when people are letting the human species down. Who breads cats, and makes it a trend? WHO?
“Skynet, please ... go live. I’ll kill John Connor for you. This tech world isn’t worth saving.”

Can’t we have some Wireless-Idiot-Control-Device (patent pending) that zaps people before they fulfill their camera-cat-related visions? For example, if Miss Editor here decides next month is cat month ... *LASER BRAIN ZAP* … Now that’s technology moving in the right direction.
Let’s concentrate on technology that makes us smarter, not lazier and dumber. When the aliens come, I want us to be proud of what we have to offer them in terms of engaging futuristic ideas of universal integration systems … unless they turn out to be cats, then I’ll be fine with what we have now!

P.S The only cat we should watch over and over again on the internet is Catwoman (Halle Berry, Anne Hathaway, The one from Arkham City™, etc). That’s the true definition of Reach and Flexibility.

By Crystal

Heads or tails

The coin is in the air

I stop and stare

And for a brief moment I care

About our fate

Is it too late to change, the familiar exchange?

And in the midst it all became clear

Sincere

This is real not fake

We are who we are cause of the choices we make.


From the American sitcom Let's Stay Together...

Technology

Technology it is everywhere... in obvious and not so obvious ways. This month we are talking of technology and how it affects peoples lives all over. Be it the CEO of a multimillion organisation, or the lady in the village who just got her first cell phone and can now keep in touch with her children in the city easily. It is everywhere, it affects us all. I mean right now you're using technology to read this aren't you?

much love v3rcity

…Glorified Technological Slaves… Chimzy

The notion of computers/machines/technology replacing humans in the work place always sounded like a joke to me. Had people known the technological force would be unstoppable, they would have started stacking up food in their basements ahead of time to prepare for when the computer would literally replace the human (well not entirely-we can debate). It’s not that computers are smarter than man I mean come on; we program the damn things and tell them what to do, specify conditions to follow etc. So I have come to the conclusion that it’s the greed of man to make more profit at a faster rate than a fellow human can help with the same. I wonder how it must feel when an employee is called for dismissal and is told machine number 2.0.5 will now take over, "thank you for serving us for the past sixty years or so, but this machine here will make a better employee". 

The damn microchips keep getting smaller and processor power getting faster and thus the spending price is sky high. Who would have thought these little gadgets would run our lives like this? So practically speaking we are still slaves, only now the terms have changed. We are the glorified technological slaves. The sound of automated systems is far more appealing than the technological freedom I witnessed when I went to visit my grandmother in the village. And yet only when we take a closer look, do we come to realise that we are caught up in the bondage of dependence. A mere slip of the mind into forgetting their cell phone at home locks people into panic modes of all sorts. Twitter this twitter that is quite the task to be attended at daily. Day in and day out we plug in to recharge out laptop batteries to prolong the dosage of our injected technological morphine.

Technology addicts, perhaps we also belong in the street corners and dark alleys among the crack heads. I fear for the generation born into this technological era, now they are hopeless to think they can actually come out of this spider web if at all they thought of it. I am torn between two worlds, one is fast faced with information and thus cluttered with power cables, modems, keywords through Google search engines, an environment that demands a constant chasing of time, where people forget to breathe and strip away their titles as human beings to human doings. The ramifications are vast and range from fatigue to psychological disorder. Maybe no one is keeping watch and observing, but I still maintain that we ought to take a step back and balance things out before we wake up one day and wonder what it is that we have actually done with our lives. To this effect and acknowledging the struggle to move against this technological force, I yearn for technology free periods when I can cater to relationships, family friends and the like. I think we are forgetting what is important and with each passing day we grow more anti-social, ask anyone who has a friend with a Blackberry for instance. I rest my case. 

I somehow find myself laughing at my argument. I don’t nominate that we fight technology or do away with it. 

That’s like fighting a losing battle but rather find a balance with this force that we have become so dependent on. It indeed has provided more than we could have ever dreamt of and its possibilities continue to astonish me. The question that remains is could you truly exempt yourself as a technological slave? I am certain the responses here would be quite entertaining.

Narration by Nairobi_Lite

My neighbour woke up to a wild scare today. Seems one of the boys who have been giving it to her, might have put her in the family way. I want you to picture this scene. 

 Me, on one side of the fence, hanging my clothes out to dry. And she, on the other, seated on a bucket. Looking glumly at her phone, fingers dancing over the buttons as she considers how to breaking the news to the boy concerned.  Now, my neighbour is a looker. It might be that we've been neighbours a while but she has that girl next door thing down on pat. Also she has that glint in her eye, like she's daring you to make a move on her; see if her exterior is just a facade. Anyway, cutting to the chase. I'm standing there, wet clothe half raised to the line, looking at her stupefied. She, to her credit, looks back at me, daring me to judge her. A few minutes pass like this before I find my words and haltingly make a stupid joke. Something like, "Aha...er...maybe...maybe they're just trolling you.

Your period’s a-mean." *mind face palm*

Meanwhile, in my head, running parallel but opposite to my stupid one-liners are my stupid solutions to the situation. Foremost being, I could marry her. I could say it’s mine and everyone would believe me. After all, we're seen together constantly. I could save her. At this point, the rational part of my brain hit the back of my head so forcefully, it was almost physical. Get a grip nigga! She'll say NO! I mean look at her and look at you. Even lost as she is right now, she looks way more with it than you do when everything's going your way. You sissy! You're hanging clothes! In your slippers! With your ugly Toes out! Don't do it! SHE'LL SAY NO!

"Kavoo...?''

She looks up.

"Er, I've been thinking..."

"Uh-huh"

"Well, if it doesn't work out with that guy...I could be its father..."

Everything went quiet for a minute. I still had my wet vest in my hands dripping all over my pajama trouser. She looked at me so fiercely. I thought I'd done something wrong. All I wanted was to get out of the friend zone. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

"Maybe..."

"Ati?"

I was so caught up in my thoughts I almost missed what she was saying.

"Maybe. Why would you do that?"

"I like you."

"Like me how?"

"Why are you interrogating me? I just proposed!"

"Yeah, you did and that scares me."

"Wha...why? I'm I that hideous?''

"No. It's just...I've never thought of you that way..."I just looked at her.  

I mean c'mon! Even pregnant, she's too good for me? Anyway, I finally walked out of the stiffly out of the backyard, with whatever little dignity I could muster.

 She didn't try to stop me I probably looked a comical sight, huffing away in worn slippers bucket in hand.

@nairobi_lite https://twitter.com/#!/nairobi_lite