I am a 20 something year
old part-time student, who’s had it good in my life. My mom gave me all she
could, she got me my first car at 19, and I have had the best opportunities in
life, a good education and just a way better than regular stern sturdy
background.
So why is it that I
keep on dating guys who turn out to be losers? I just don’t have a proper way
or word to describe how I have continuously gone out of my way to be with men
or boys, whatever you might call them that are beneath me. I’m just coming out
of a relationship with a “beautiful guy” who has been arrested for armed
robbery and has no tertiary education but is generally a good guy . . . Wow if
I was someone else reading this I would be thinking that generally a good guy
and armed robbery don’t really go well together.
I guess my problem is that
I believe in fairy tales and right in the middle of a fairytale there is always
drama. I’ve wondered why it shouldn’t be a Bonnie and Clyde story. I have watched
too many movies where the bad guy gets the good girl and turns good .I am
a stupid nurturer!! You know the woman that believes she knows his problem
and will nurse him and guide him to the place he is supposed to be at. Maybe I
should have just listened when a drunken friend said “Wait … you’re dating that
guy? … Why? ”, when the line ‘you are worth so much more’ kept on being
associated with my man .When little brother said “this loser is going nowhere and
you already a queen, why the association big sis?”
Yes [I still do believe
that he is a great man, just not for this woman.] He just is not that into me,
and I am never going to get faithfulness or what I put in the relationship.
What the hell was I
thinking?? Why did I not think “what am I doing here, how can I keep letting
myself be associated with such an ass?” Well because the ‘ass’ came in an awesome
package, because the ‘ass’ made my heart skip and bought me flowers and made me
smile! Lord did he make me smile!! He made me feel like the world and
introduced me his family. Honestly it was slow, this depreciation of character
in to revealing his “assdom”. But the signs were there and each time I saw
signs that indicated ‘200km to
assdom’ I noted it but still moved forward with him.
That’s because I decided
to turn a blind eye. That’s what I have been doing every time the glance on
that girl’s ass is a whole lot longer than it should be. When he’s chilling in
one end and I’m chilling in the other end of a party and there are just women
all around him. When his Facebook statuses oozed I am a horny ass that just
needs to get laid please!!! If only I had just remembered the quote from Maya
Angelou [“when someone shows you who they are, believe them”]
It would have saved me from all the
pain, and the 3kgs I gained from mourning.
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