“Age aint nothing but a number”
We all know who made this phrase famous as well as the circumstances
under which the hit song was penned so I won't get into that. What I will get
into is the message that this song was trying to send and what we got from it
instead, well, for me at least.
Out and out, it's obvious that she was trying to express her personal
preference and articulate her perception of what society deems to be
"immoral". She preferred them older than she was and she had every
right to. Sod what society thinks especially when the same society chooses to
condemn a woman for dating an older man but congratulate a man for dating a
young fresh "thang" or give kudos to a young lad for bagging a
cougar. Honestly, which teenager would not rebel when being forced into a
corner? She just happened to do it with a bandana, boxers, baggy jeans, a sexy
as hell lady 6 pack and voice of an angel. She rebelled so well that at that
time, despite not being a teen yet, I also felt like "age aint nothing but
a number"... I could do things to her with my then little, ‘11th
finger’.
But that’s about as poetic as this issue can get, from there reality
strikes. We've all been through that visit my friend because I'm crushing on
his sister/mom or your friend visits you because they are crushing on someone
at your house. If you haven’t been through that, my sincere condolences to the
childhood you never had.
From the time you had a crush on
that older family friend/cousin to the point where you were the one that the
young ones were crushing on, you could not ignore the fact that age does
matter. Not because of what society will think but first and foremost, what
will we have in common when our age differs so much? This perception tends to
fade once you get to know a person and you say "they are quite mature for
their age" ... that's a decent way of saying "they can get it".
Right there by bringing maturity into it, you have found a way of
justifying it. Before long, it evolves into all sorts of reasons and
justifications... women mature and grow quicker than men, an older man is more
stable and responsible, a woman your age will grow to look like your aunt instead
of your woman someday etc. Many of these reasons are valid in their own rights.
We have seen chicks we dated settled with older guys and we've seen people we
studied with evolve into looking like they went to kindergarten with our
parents. In the same light, we have seen many households where the father was
much older than the mother. Most of us come from such families hence it all
seemed normal. The notion of age was a mere technicality imposed on us by the
western law, right?
I'm not in a place to judge whether all this is right or wrong. All I
know is that from observing these various scenarios, I've learned that life is more
of grey than just white or black. It's more "different strokes for
different folks" than we would like to admit. What works for me might not
work for you and that’s cool. We can't impose blanket perceptions on a whole
human race. What I personally battle with is being 29 and shagging a 17yr old.
Yes, it's ‘legal’ but play around with the numbers and reality starts asking
you some probing questions. Do you realise that when I was 17 and horny as hell
she was 5yr old? That’s young enough for me to have been her uncle not even her
brother but hey, its legal right? When I exited my teens at 20 she was 12, not
even a teen yet. However when I'm 42 she will be 30, all of a sudden that's a
ripe woman right there. Funny isn’t it? Add a few years to my age or deduct a
few from hers and you'll realise that she's young enough to be my 1st
born if I had a kid in my late teens. Now how would I feel if my main man who
is my age was dating my daughter? Would I still be bumping that Aaliyah *jawn?
Grabbing and chucking my crotch like I'm R.Kelly himself? If my answer is a
resounding yes then we are cool. If not, then I have no business crossing the
age gap and imposing my double standards on society.
My personal view is that if you did not, at any point find, each other
in the same growth stage, you are too old for each other. If you entered
teenage years when I was on my way out, 13 - 18, 14 - 19 and so forth then we
are cool. Otherwise we have to wait to a point where we are both above 30
because by then we are both old. It's just a question of who is Morgan Freeman
old and who is Madonna old.
*jawn - song/tune
lol, interesting post. well written ofentse
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