Bring Me The African Guy... Solo

At least you have your breasts to play with when
you’re alone.
Breasts,
      after all,
have more subtlety,
more nuance,

Than a penis—
which is really
straight
        forward and BORING.

Beautiful, for a black girl … Shelly-Ann Woo

Straight narrow nose

Small pouty pink lips

High cheekbones Wavy locks

You are beautiful

For a black girl they say

My heart aches.

Racial prejudice

Still lives on in the 21st century western world

They have an obvious preference for the mocha covered Scandinavian girl

To not have Broad, flared nose

Wide full lips

Round cheeks

Nappy coarse hair

Is my good fortune?!

I shall shun your Euro-centric standard

Your world of black is not beauty

To tell me I am beautiful you may

But don’t you dare tell me I am beautiful, for a black girl

Emotive Mathematics - play with these numbers ... Ofentse Melato

“Age aint nothing but a number”

 

We all know who made this phrase famous as well as the circumstances under which the hit song was penned so I won't get into that. What I will get into is the message that this song was trying to send and what we got from it instead, well, for me at least.

Out and out, it's obvious that she was trying to express her personal preference and articulate her perception of what society deems to be "immoral". She preferred them older than she was and she had every right to. Sod what society thinks especially when the same society chooses to condemn a woman for dating an older man but congratulate a man for dating a young fresh "thang" or give kudos to a young lad for bagging a cougar. Honestly, which teenager would not rebel when being forced into a corner? She just happened to do it with a bandana, boxers, baggy jeans, a sexy as hell lady 6 pack and voice of an angel. She rebelled so well that at that time, despite not being a teen yet, I also felt like "age aint nothing but a number"... I could do things to her with my then little, ‘11^th finger’.

But that’s about as poetic as this issue can get, from there reality strikes. We've all been through that visit my friend because I'm crushing on his sister/mom or your friend visits you because they are crushing on someone at your house. If you haven’t been through that, my sincere condolences to the childhood you never had.

 From the time you had a crush on that older family friend/cousin to the point where you were the one that the young ones were crushing on, you could not ignore the fact that age does matter. Not because of what society will think but first and foremost, what will we have in common when our age differs so much? This perception tends to fade once you get to know a person and you say "they are quite mature for their age" ... that's a decent way of saying "they can get it".

Right there by bringing maturity into it, you have found a way of justifying it. Before long, it evolves into all sorts of reasons and justifications... women mature and grow quicker than men, an older man is more stable and responsible, a woman your age will grow to look like your aunt instead of your woman someday etc. Many of these reasons are valid in their own rights. We have seen chicks we dated settled with older guys and we've seen people we studied with evolve into looking like they went to kindergarten with our parents. In the same light, we have seen many households where the father was much older than the mother. Most of us come from such families hence it all seemed normal. The notion of age was a mere technicality imposed on us by the western law, right?

I'm not in a place to judge whether all this is right or wrong. All I know is that from observing these various scenarios, I've learned that life is more of grey than just white or black. It's more "different strokes for different folks" than we would like to admit. What works for me might not work for you and that’s cool. We can't impose blanket perceptions on a whole human race. What I personally battle with is being 29 and shagging a 17yr old. Yes, it's ‘legal’ but play around with the numbers and reality starts asking you some probing questions. Do you realise that when I was 17 and horny as hell she was 5yr old? That’s young enough for me to have been her uncle not even her brother but hey, its legal right? When I exited my teens at 20 she was 12, not even a teen yet. However when I'm 42 she will be 30, all of a sudden that's a ripe woman right there. Funny isn’t it? Add a few years to my age or deduct a few from hers and you'll realise that she's young enough to be my 1^st born if I had a kid in my late teens. Now how would I feel if my main man who is my age was dating my daughter? Would I still be bumping that Aaliyah *jawn? Grabbing and chucking my crotch like I'm R.Kelly himself? If my answer is a resounding yes then we are cool. If not, then I have no business crossing the age gap and imposing my double standards on society. 

My personal view is that if you did not, at any point find, each other in the same growth stage, you are too old for each other. If you entered teenage years when I was on my way out, 13 - 18, 14 - 19 and so forth then we are cool. Otherwise we have to wait to a point where we are both above 30 because by then we are both old. It's just a question of who is Morgan Freeman old and who is Madonna old.

*jawn - song/tune

Saving 101 ... Cynthia

What is saving? Investopedia (Yep. You read right, investopedia) defines saving as “the amount left over when the cost of a person's consumer expenditure is subtracted from the amount of disposable income that he or she earns in a given period of time” In layman’s terms, it is money that you can set aside from your earnings after you have taken care of your expenses.

Most of us never really realize how important it is to save until the time comes when we are in a bind and the regrets kick in. Did I need those extra pairs of shoes? (I am a girl, shoes will always be my first reference)…Did I really have to buy my friends three rounds of drinks or whatever else that can be bought in rounds last weekend? We live for the moment and leave tomorrow to take care of itself. After all, the Bible says it will. Right? Wrong! Because the same Bible also talks of God helping those who help themselves (I know this is nowhere in the Bible but it is implied).

So how do we go about saving? I always find that is helps to imagine the worst possible ‘rainy day’ and start from there. This will be your motivator because we all know if the universe has anything to do with it, there will be a rainy day. Secondly it goes without saying that you need to have a plan. An idea of where you want to be in future. This target will also act as a motivator.

To start off, you should save a minimum of 10% of your regular income. Key word, minimum. Start by doing this diligently. To ensure this happens without fail, have a standing instruction with your bank so that the money is deducted and sent to your saving account as soon as your income hits your regular account. Alternatively, you can have an arrangement with your employer where the 10% is deducted from your pay and sent directly to your saving account or scheme. The reason for avoiding touching your money before the10% is off is that once you can access your money, all reasoning kind of flies out the window. Not if those shoes, jeans or whatever else you have had your eye on is still on display.

Other than the 10% another way to save; especially if you are on a salaried gig; is to join a co-operative society. These are mostly company enabled hence it is much easier for funds to be deducted from you pay and put in your co-operative account. Another avenue is the famous ‘Chamas’. This is where a group of like-minded people come together and contribute an agreed monthly amount. Chamas are a great saving culture in Kenya; they vary from one to another in so many different ways but they are all geared towards the same goal; saving; (This is a topic for another day).

Do not stop at the 10%. As I said, this is the minimum. Start looking at the areas in your spending that you can cut back on and divert the money spent on these to your saving. Everyone wants a fridge stocked with ice-cream, wine, bacon etc…but this is not a necessity. Divert those funds to your savings. Is that 30^th pair of shoes really necessary? Divert those funds to your savings. Do that pair of jeans really need to be added to your wardrobe? Divert those funds to your savings and deposit it in your savings accounts…banks accept deposits from as low as 50/-.

Age aint nothing but a Binary Number... theBoy Thosh

(-: keyword is Binary :-)

So, I’m 11001 years old. And I know what some of you are thinking, “Really 11001? When are you getting married?” I’d say maybe when I’m 11011. Even though my parent’s married earlier, I feel like that will be the right state of half-life for me to join with another in a closed p2p network. We’ve shared common files and folders for 110 years now, and reduced out seed/leech ratio down to 1:1. We may occasionally log on to other networks or browse online for the sake of staying relevant and contributing to bandwidth usage, but never cast a fishing net into the great cyber sea. She defragments my life.

But enough about such lorem ipsum data. Lets converse about age, and how it really doesn’t hold basis in certain forums. For starters ---> relationships. The age difference between my MacBook Pro and I is huuuuuuuuge. I was decoded , well about 11001 years ago, while Maccie was assembled in China about 11 years ago. We met early this year and fell head-over-heels for each other. Sure, I didn’t get to enjoy unwrapping her warranty-cling clothing and breaking in her buttons, but love was as infinite as anything divided by zero.

I don’t act like I’m the boss of her simply because of my age. And her young age doesn’t make her immature in any way. We form consensus on the daily and make each other happy. She loves these cute little downloads from Apple Inc. so I make sure to bring some home after a work. We do coffee dates at java, and spend the weekends watching movies or playing video games. I foresee many happy clock-cycles with her.

Another circle of discussion where age doesn’t count or at least comes second is in online social media. (Hope y’all saw that pun ---> “age doesn’t count”). Picture breaking words with another life form you found on Facebook or Twitter … and I don’t mean casual words of greetings, weather comparisons or 32 bits (a word = 4 bytes = 32 bits). I’m talking about, “I donno his/her last name but wanna end the night with shouts to heaven”. Your first thought (though important) won’t be, “Hmm, wonder how old they are” ... It will be, “Hmm, wonder what device they have i.e. input or output?

If age really mattered, then the prime years of my life would literally be: 1, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 31, 37 … am I right math geeks? So forget about people’s ages, because we clearly don’t get the big picture of knowing such Read-Only information. What matters is how the entity affects your system.

And so says ...

(twitter: @thuita)


*p.s. For those of who don't count in binary during normal days:
11001=25, 11011=27, 110=6, 11=3

Age aint nothin but a number

"Age aint nothin but a number for a noun aint nothing but a thang this lovin I have for you it will never change..."

Admit it most of you sang that sentence instead of reading it :) Shout out to Aaliyah...
This month's theme is "age aint nothin but a number"... cause let's be honest sometimes it is, but sometimes it's so not.
Our mloggers this month will explore the aspects of age and some of the challenges that come with it, because whether you acknowledge it or not it's an important factor in all of our lives.

much love
v3rcity