Now, before you stone me, excuse my discrimination for only taking a heterosexual male view on heterosexual females. I’m not yet properly wired enough for homosexuality sensitivity so lets keep it single dimensional for now, opposite sex not same sex. My views on sensitivity and homosexuality are a topic for another day, I promise.
Back to that gum, the problem with this average Joe view is that it implies a bitter ending to a sweet start as a given and any man with half a brain knows that “with women, expect the unexpected……always”. It’s for this reason that I can’t co-sign that sweet-bitter view. How can I co-sign such when I love women so much? Why do I love them? They are the paprika to our rice whether we want it or not. You are probably thinking ‘can’t live with them, can’t live without them’ by now and you are right. However, there’s more.
Do you like sour worms? I do! Mushy, slim
and lanky while sour like hell but I can’t get enough. One after the other, I
keep reaching for more. My tongue would be burning and screaming to get rid of
the taste yet I would have my d**k hard for more sour worms. That’s how
addictive and destructive the opposite sex can be. The eccentric attraction
they ooze that keeps us chasing after them can make a grown ass man dial a
number just at 2am on a random Wednesday to ask “hey, are you sleeping?” It
takes some special p**** to do such, and little more whiskey than usual but we
have all pulled that silly mid-morning/night call like someone would be up at
2am waiting for you to holla? That’s the sour worm thing. You try every trick
to set yourself free of this nagging goose you are with, gain your freedom, be
single only to spend the rest of your nights juggling between trying to get
addicted to the next one while fighting cravings of the previous one. From
being infuriated with her to her barking “pull my hair ni**a, pull my motherf***ing
hair!!” It’s just in our DNA to have the repulsive side to us towards each
other but have that attraction that we can’t escape.
Remember how as kids we were told that the
one you like the most is the one you will keep fighting with? We actually never
grew out of that because deep inside, we get frustrated by not being fully in
control of choosing who we love from the opposite sex. What’s worse is that we
can’t always pin point what exactly is it that we love about them but we always
know what we can’t stand about them. I tell you man, it’s those sour worms.
They are bitter but sweet, repulsive but addictive. Almost like that itch at
the back of your throat that makes your ear itch and they both keep popping up.
Rude as it sounds, it is true that the power of the opposite sex means we are
born bloody and screaming out of a woman only to spend the rest of our lives
trying all sorts of tricks to get back inside one. They are a gift and a curse,
the cause and the cure, the bitter and the sweet. They are the balance our
rowdy self needs. They are our sour worms, man.
And you know what’s the best thing about sour
worms?
If you eat just the right amount of them,
they make the opposite sex’s cl** taste like heaven when you give cunnilingus.
But that is a different version of the same story and all versions are true.
Till we converse again but for now, this is my view of the opposite sex.
*As
I lick more these sour worms*
(twitter: @OwaMelato_O)
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