... but for women, it’s more like *wash windows* ... fellas, am I right? hahaha ... just kidding!
Let’s face it; we don’t expect women to know anything about computers. In fact, we really need them to be in digital distress so that we can fly in and save them with a few quick-typed shortcuts and tell them, “It was magic baby, if you ever need help ... call me maybe” (in my defense, that ‘call me maybe’ song is a damn ear-worm ... #asyouwere).
The pheromone-embedded exhale of relief from Human 2.0 (God’s second version of Human, the Woman (pronounced WOOOAH-MAN), was definitely an upgrade) as she looks up to you with her retina I/O display makes being a man the best job in the world. She tells you she could never have got anything working on her powerbook without you. You smile sheepishly, make you NerdMan pose and tell her, “Anytime!” (<--- rookie mistake).
From here on till the release of Windows XTinct, she’ll be summoning you like a puppy. Tech-Guy friends do the most important work in a woman’s life, keep her relevant by keeping her on the grid, but we get the least amount of remuneration. We are at the bottom of her give-it-up-to list:
- Chris Brown, Trey Songz, etc
- Mista Right, Mista Wrong, Mista lemme-just-settle
- Platonic Friend (break glass in-case of emergency)
- Guy who buys her drinks
- Guy who buys her shoes
- Guy who fuels her car
- that guy ☞ ➞
- and maybe, if cute, guy who spends 4hours reinstalling her OS
Ok, maybe I’m exaggerating a little bit (bit, get it? Computer joke … *sigh* ) I managed to register online for the full version of a relationship with a lady on account of my proficient software troubleshooting. And then I turned her into a nerd (Girl nerds are sexy to us nerds, PERIOD) who can fix her own computer aided disruptions (CAD joke … LAUGH).
But now, she could fix her own computer, she could compute all day, fragg me monday to monday in Call of Duty .I was becoming ... irrelevant. The mystery nerd revealed his identity and source of powers and like Delilah did Samson, she butchered that life-source from me.
I hate girls who can fix their own computers. It’s like them discovering that the trick to opening jars is just *text missing* (Can’t reveal that one ----> Bro Code Article 26.B). Fixing things is a man’s job, except for fixing hair and fixing dinner (fellas, am I right again?).
There is no saving grace with this situation. Now girls can download their own series, update their software, drop the “Have you tried switching it off and on again?” line on you when they find you dangling your desktop out the window, and so on.
Clearly, it won’t be robots replacing us, it will be these Femputing Feministers filing us away into recycle bins. A sexy female bionic hybrid will lead them to victory, and soon after Mother Nature will achieve synthesis with women and leave men to die out.
(twitter:@thuita)
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